Reviewer: KarasAunty (Signed)
08/13/12 - 03:17 am
Recovering from a Winter's Dip
Dearest Merry and Co! Just wanting to cheer up their cousin and reassure themselves of his recovery. Beldir is a bit irksome, it must be said. As the resident Healer, he should simply ban visitors so that Frodo has the necessary peace to recover. He's not effective in his role if he can't muster the authority to do that, for his patient's sake.
There are a couple of unhobbity names (Gomez, Markos) which threw me while I was reading, and some of the sentences don't flow as well as they usually do in one of your masterpieces, e.g.:
“This lad is never going to properly rest to recover from his chill and the subsequent sore throat if he’s not given some respite from this constant stream of visitors!”
Something like:"The lad will never fully recover from his ailments if he's not given some peace from all these visitors!" flows better.
Despite these wee niggles, it was a sweet, heartwarming tale which I enjoyed.
Well, in my-verse there's been a terrible storm to recover from affecting all of Buckland, and many of the victims have been brought into Brandy Hall until their homes can be repaired or rebuilt sufficiently for the families to return home, so Beldir is not able to stay just about the infirmary, as some of the victims are housed with their families in many of the communal dayrooms and such. To come back to the infirmary to find a stream of people keeping Frodo awake must have been annoying and alarming to the poor soul!
Sancho and Esmeralda showed a Spanish and/or Italian influence to some of the names Tolkien used, as do Belladonna, Donnamira, Mirabella, and so on. Gerontius is Latin, I think. So, I threw in a few other Spanish names into the Brandybucks. I don't think Marco or Markos would be that unusual for Hobbits, either, and I've imagined a number of three-syllable names over the years for the Bracegirdles, after all--Timono, Bartolo, and so on. And now and then I work in names of various people I admire into my namings--you'll find a few characters from some of my favorite books and even a writer and actor from time to time! Heh!
And my sentences are too often cumbersome--many I end up rewriting to break them down, but some manage to get in as originally written.
But I do appreciate the comments as well as the constructive criticism. I think that after Frodo managed to pull poor Gomez from the Withywindle he'd become far too popular at least for a time for his own good, and I'd written in Second Mum that by the time Bilbo arrived he'd been moved out of the infirmary into his own rooms to allow him some additional peace and quiet for his final recovery.
Thanks so very much, Maureen!