Reviewer: Certh (Signed)
05/16/17 - 11:51 pm
Strangers ~ Prologue
Good narrative, there are some nice turns of phrase and vivid imagery. I like that this prologue reveals neither place nor time - a nice touch of suspense there. The mention of dragons made me smile.
A bit of cautioning concerning your sources for Elvish phrases. What you have in this chapter is neither Sindarin nor Quenya, but a language made by roleplayers for a roleplaying game that has nothing to do with Tolkien's universe, colloquially known as "Grelvish".
Since this is set after the First Age in Middle-earth, Sindarin should be used:
"The Valar have blessed us, my daughter" - "Ven eliennin I Melain, sellig/sellenin"
"What is his name, Mother?" - "Man i eneth dîn, naneth?"
"my love" - "melethig/melethenin"
"my brother" (used as an endearment) - "muindoreg"
"I love you" - "Gin melin"
The website www.realelvish.net has accurate phrasebooks based on language and dialect, as well as names and useful essays concerning a variety of topics, from linguistics to forms of address in Middle-earth.
Author's Response: Hello Certh! Thank you so much for the review, I actually forgot of this site because I've been very busy. I was aware that it wasn't perfect Tolkien Elvish when I wrote the story, but as it is a fanfic and not a professional story, I was alright to leave that bit of research out of mind. :)